


5 + 1 = 2 Robins Ardently In Love

by River9Noble



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: 5 + 1, 5 Times, F/M, Humor, Idiots in Love, JaySteph - Freeform, Pride and Prejudice References, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River9Noble/pseuds/River9Noble
Summary: 5 times Steph fucked Jason for the last time plus 1 time she fucked him for the first time.
Relationships: Stephanie Brown/Jason Todd
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80
Collections: Focus on Female Characters, Jason Rare Pair Challenge





	5 + 1 = 2 Robins Ardently In Love

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why this popped into my head but here it is. Hope you enjoy! It made me laugh, anyway.

_**1.** _

Every time Steph fucked him, she told herself it was the last time.

She'd be stronger from now on. Get out one of her increasingly unused vibrators. Finally look online for a specialty candle that smelled like cigarettes and discharged bullets. Download some of that costumed porn that Gotham was famous for churning out.

Steph was actually _in_ one of those videos, but only by accident. Was it her fault she'd stumbled through a scene being filmed on top of Gotham National Bank on a night when Two-Face happened to rob the place?

She still couldn't decide if the look of horror on the (real) Batgirl's face in the movie was her reaction to her porn counterpart's truly offensive costume (it was a Batshaped ballgag, ok? In purple. And yes, they actually manufactured them right here in Gotham. What? As if she could see that and then _not_ go look it up after her inadvertent cameo?) or was Steph's horror due to the fact that it was knockoff Red Robin who had been railing her? (Not her. Fake her. Definitely not real her. Not ever again, real her.)

So yep, yeah, next time, Steph would definitely pull up some of those cheapass Red Hood pornos and get off to those instead of to the actual man's actual cock ramming her actual pussy in the best, most deliciously brutal way as actual screams came out of the very real, very turned on Batgirl's most-decidedly-not-Batballgagged throat.

"Fuck, yeah, sweetheart," the very much in-the-flesh Jason Todd was growling against said throat before biting down on it hard. "Scream for me just like that."

Steph was totally happy to comply, even though she promised herself that it was for the last time.

_Spoiler alert:_

It wasn't.

* * *

_**2.** _

Tim had scowled at her so hard when B had called Batgirl in to assist with the hostage situation on the South Harbor busline.

So it was definitely only fair that Steph go and fuck Jason right after getting off patrol that night. Payback was a bitch, and all that.

Not that Tim exactly knew about Steph's preferred method of payback (yet), but only because B would be pissed, too, and maybe even Oracle, and then Batgirl might find herself on thin ice - but it was the mental satisfaction of the payback that was the most satisfying, anyway. Totally not the killer orgasms.

Nope, it was totally Steph's secretive superior knowledge that she was fucking Tim's worst enemy that made fucking Jason so satisfying, so tonight totally didn't count as Steph breaking her "never again, last time" promise to herself, because tonight it was well-earned and deserved and not even for herself, it was to hurt Tim.

So it one-hundred-and-twenty-percent didn't count as a failure to refrain from her ever-increasing Jason-addiction.

Not at all.

* * *

_**3.** _

So she'd bought some red lacy lingerie.

And worn it over to Jason's.

So what.

It wasn't for him, it was for her, because Jason fucked her twice as hard seeing her in his colors and the orgasm(s) he gave her were even more freakin' insane than normal.

So it was all for Steph.

And therefore not a sign of a problem.

It was the last time she was gonna fuck Jason, anyway. Might as well go out with a bang.

* * *

_**4.** _

It was her birthday, ok? She was entitled to a gift.

Very last time.

Promise.

* * *

_**5.** _

It was his birthday.

* * *

_**+1.** _

"Oh," Steph said, startled when she heard a woman's voice in the background as Jason was coming down the hall to greet her just as she was closing the door behind her on her way in to his apartment.

"I didn't know you had company. I'll go," Steph said, totally not shocked and crying inside because this was good, right? It was what she wanted.

No more fucking Jason.

Steph could totally swear him off now.

Plus, it wasn't like he was cheating, so she had no reason to be so hurt and angry, because she and Jason weren't together or anything. Yes - exactly. They weren't anything. Nothing at all. Nope. Not a damn thing.

So it totally didn't matter that he had another woman over instead of her. Yeah, Steph was fine with that. It was for the best, really. She'd just go and -

"Baby, you never have to go," Jason was saying with a puzzled look on his face as he smooched Steph's lips and pulled her forward. "Come hang out with us."

Steph had a really witty response to that, she really did, but it was stuck in her throat, and Jason was walking her down the hall and - oh.

It was just Artemis and Bizarro.

Steph knew for a fact that Jason wasn't fucking either of them, because Bizarro didn't fuck anyone and Artemis only fucked girls.

Phew. Ok.

Not like she'd been worried or anything, because she and Jason weren't anything, she wasn't his -

"This is Steph," Jason was saying to his friends.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Artemis said after looking Steph up and down and giving Jason a tiny approving nod.

Finally? Jason… talked about her? To the Outlaws?

"Girlfriend," Bizarro smiled at Steph.

Well, he clearly had that wrong, but that was Bizarro for you, Steph figured.

"That's right, buddy, my girlfriend," Jason said (wait, what?) tugging Steph down onto the couch next to him and automatically wrapping his arm around her shoulder like it belonged there.

… and maybe Steph wanted it to.

A few hours later, when Artemis and Bizarro had rolled out with parting hugs (" _gentle_ hugs for her, Big Guy, she has fragile bones like me") and Jason and Steph were alone, he gave her a probing look.

"You ok, babe? You were quiet tonight."

"How long have I been your girlfriend?" Steph asked Jason.

"Oh, fuck, I dunno," Jason said, rubbing the back of his head as he thought. "Has it been a year? When'd we start dating?"

Steph looked at him, wide eyed.

"What?" Jason said nervously. "Did I miss an anniversary or something?"

"No," Steph said. "I think you missed the conversation where you told me I was your girlfriend."

Jason stared at her.

"Do you not come over here and fuck me every single night of the week?" he said in confusion.

"Not when I'm on my period," Steph said.

Jason gave her a funny look.

"Right, because those weeks I bring you ice cream and chocolate and we sleep in your bed."

Steph bit her lip.

"Steph…?" Jason said slowly. "Why do I feel like I'm missing something big here, babe?"

Steph blinked and looked away.

"I just - I didn't know I was your girlfriend," she mumbled as her cheeks got red.

"What the fuck did you think you were, then?" Jason said, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing," Steph whispered, not sure if it was guilt or embarrassment that was eating at her core.

"You thought you were _nothing_ to me…?" Jason said, his mouth dropping slightly. "I gave you a key to my apartment!" he said. "Hell, you even know where my apartment is," he said in a more stunned voice.

"Wait," Jason said suddenly, "so I'm nothing to _you_ , then?" he said, quickly covering up his deeply wounded look with anger instead.

"We don't go out on dates!" Steph said in frustration, fighting tears.

"Where did you want to go?" Jason snapped. "We'd just end up fighting crime halfway through when somebody around us gets mugged. Isn't that why we always stay in?"

 _Oh, God,_ Steph thought in horror. Jason really - he -

"Do you love me?" Steph asked him, because that was one thing she was damn positive that they had never said to each other.

"Yes, I love you!" Jason shouted at her.

Oh.

"You never said so!" Steph snapped back.

"Neither did you!" Jason yelled at her.

"Because I didn't think we were dating!" Steph screamed in frustration. "I thought we were just fucking!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jason yelped, tugging at his hair in some combination of exasperation and desperation. "You show up here dressed like Elizabeth Bennet on my birthday _with_ a Mr. Darcy tailcoat for me and that's us just _fucking?_ " he shrieked at her.

"I don't know!" Steph cried, feeling the tears start.

"You even brought a damn boxwood so we'd have shrubbery!" Jason yelled at her. "But now you're saying you don't love me?" he shouted, looking so incredibly heartbroken that Steph's insides ripped because no, that wasn't what she was saying at all, actually, even though she'd been systematically shoveling dirt on top of her heart for ages now.

Leave it to feelings for Jason to not stay properly buried.

"I didn't say I didn't love you!" Steph screamed. "I said I didn't think we were dating!"

"So, what? We're just fucking, but you love me?" Jason snarled, getting up in Steph's face.

"Yes!" Steph sobbed, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"Oh," Jason said, blinking. "Well, you're a fucking idiot," he said, dipping Steph into a swoon-worthy kiss.

"No, you're the fucking idiot," Steph said, pulling her lips away but maintaining the swoon. "I was going to stop fucking you."

"Yeah, right," Jason said, rolling his eyes.

"I was," Steph insisted. "You could have lost me forever."

"Yet here you are," Jason snarked as he righted her.

"I lack willpower," Steph explained with a sigh. "And you're very addictive."

"And you're very stupid," Jason groaned, "but I love you anyway, dumbass. Can I please fuck my girlfriend now?"

"Yes," Steph sulked, "but I'd damn well better know before I become your fiancée."

"And I'd better know before I become your tossaway fuckbuddy again," Jason scowled back.

"I'm sorry," Steph said softly, wrapping her arms around Jason's neck. "I really didn't know it meant anything at first."

Jason sighed.

"Maybe it didn't, at first," he said. "But you know damn well you fell in love with me months and months ago."

Steph rocked against him, burying her face in Jason's chest.

"I didn't think you cared, though," she said.

"Bullshit," Jason said, but without heat.

Steph curled her fingers into Jason's hair.

"I was scared," she admitted.

"There it is," Jason grunted. "About the Bats judging you, right?" he sighed.

"Partly," Steph mumbled. "But also because things with Tim ended so bad and I swore to myself I wouldn't get into another relationship so soon. Rebounds never last, you know? And I thought it would be stupid to get my hopes up about you wanting anything other than fucking, so…"

"Did me coming to look for you the first night you didn't come over seriously not give you a clue?" Jason said, brushing a strand of Steph's hair back behind her ear.

"That could totally have just been for sex," Steph argued, looking up at him.

"When I went to the store and came back with ice cream because you had cramps?" Jason said skeptically. "Still not a hint?"

Steph groaned and leaned into Jason's tight hug, pressing her face into his shoulder.

"If I told myself it was nothing, I wouldn't be hurt when it ended," she muttered. "But I was super hurt when I thought you were fucking somebody else tonight so that plan miserably failed."

"Baby!" Jason said in shock before starting to laugh. "You thought I was cheating on you with Artemis?"

"Technically, it wouldn't have been cheating because we weren't together," Steph pouted.

"Technically, we were too together, but I would never cheat on you," Jason said. "You're the Lizzy to my Mr. Darcy."

"But I'm the one who struggled in vain," Steph protested, "because I ardently admire and love you, Jason Darcy."

"Right back at ya, Lizzy Steph," Jason said, "but without the vain struggling," he grinned before bending down to give his girlfriend a romantically tender kiss.

Sex with her boyfriend was so much better than sex with her fuckbuddy, Steph had to admit.

And the shrubbery really added to the ambiance. She'd been very smart to buy it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Oh PS, this story isn't to say that ballgags are offensive. That's just fictional Steph's in-story reaction to it, not the author's! (I think it was the purple that pissed her off lol) 
> 
> Fanfiction writers are thirsty vampires and comments are our lifeblood. 🧛🩸😁  
> (But if you are mean, we will cut a bitch. Cuz we are vampires rawr 🦇)
> 
> Please check out my other fics! Lots of Jason and rarepairs and tons of JaySteph.
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr as River9Noble. Come say hi!
> 
> There's a JaySteph STAY Discord Server (all ages) you're welcome to join if I've lured you into my ship, and also a newish Jason Rare Pairs Discord Server (18+ only) that you can join if you love our boy. Message @dn-ky on Tumblr for a link to join either.


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